Whoever came up with the name ‘Green Fairy’ was either hearing voices, experienced with Absinthe or more likely, both. Personally, I think it looks and tastes quite like alcoholic shampoo. I know this because I have drunk both alcohol and shampoo…but thats another story!

It all started with giant pretzels. Who knew a biscuit could cause so much trouble? With their bready texture and salty crystals..their ability to suck all the moisture out of your mouth. The fundamental problem is they force you to drink beer and let’s face it, beer impairs your judgment. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

So there we were, in an underground beer hall in mid-winter Prague. I’d tell you where it was if I could remember. It’s quite a cool place. Several pints in…someone says ‘Hey, let’s try some Absinthe’.

Perspective for you. Absinthe is so toxic that in several countries in the civilised world, it is illegal. In some cases, 70% over-proof. It solidifies your liver on the way through. But hey, the Czech Republic is still pretty hedonistic so absinthe flows freely in the bars. Many a stag party has failed to get to the church on time following a meeting with this verdant little lady!

So, there’s a process to the consumption of absinthe.

1. Pour a small measure of nasty green liquid into a wide rim glass.

2. Put some white sugar onto a teaspoon

3. Dip teaspoon of sugar into the nasty green liquid very quickly so it becomes soaked

4. Light nasty green liquid soaked sugar to caramelise *

5. Rapidly stir caramelised sugar into nasty green liquid.

6. Don’t sip! SLAM IT DOWN FAST!!!

7. Wonder what all those pretty lights are…such nice colours….

Something else interesting about absinthe. It turned Big T into a ninja.

Big T downed his shot, jumped up like he’d been electrocuted, ran in a little circle and dashed out into the night! The rest of us were still reeling from being kicked in the head by the vicious little Tinkerbell but managed to pay the bill and stumble up the stairs and out the door. Looking up and down the street we couldn’t see Big T…he had vanished. My double vision was giving him a distinct advantage but then, out of the darkness. I could see…the whites of his eyes…and that was all. Big T had turned into a NINJA!

I think only absinthe could turn a 6 foot 3 inch American into a ninja but there he was, balancing on the icy railing of the Charles Bridge doing real ninja moves completely unmindful of the 100 foot drop behind him into the river.

“I’m going clubbing!” shouts Ninja Master T. I was still in awe of his untapped ninjitsu skill so figured I better follow him or he might kill me with the aluminium fighting fan he was undoubtedly now secretly carrying. (I know..fighting fan…I kid you not. Such a thing exists and can be yours for the bargain price of $28.99 USD from any combat equipment web site).

With that battle cry, he vanished again into the night and, in my opinion, making much more noise than a ninja should. But who was I to talk? At that moment, I actually physically couldn’t talk… and as I sprinted off after him I swear I saw out of the corner of my eye, hiding behind the lamp post, a sniggering, little creature that was definitely the colour of astro-turf at the very least. But hey, that could have been down to the bad sausage I ate before I went out. Yep…bad sausage…

* The bar tender told us to light it. Other schools of thought state the sugar should not be caramelised as it can destroy the aroma of the plants in the absinthe. Ice cold water apparently is what should be used to dilute it.

Tiny disclaimer: This story is based on a fun night I had in Prague as opposed to a medical account of what absinthe does to people in general. As such, I have definitely taken a bit of ‘poetic license’ to convey the scene. For more facts about absinthe, including its legal status, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absinthe